— A couple days ago I had logged onto Facebook which is a rarity these days. I don’t like Facebook anymore because its a place where nothing but hate and jealousy along with gloating are spread around. I was just on to check up on family.
As I was talking to a family member through the messages I had another pop up. It was from a girl I went to high school with who made it her purpose each day to make fun of me or find a new flaw in me to make fun of. It was a little shocking that she was even messaging me being that we had graduated almost three years ago. What she said though was even more shocking.
She told me that she was sorry for all the times she made a comment about me or made fun of me. She said it was all out of jealously. That she had wished she was as cool as me and out of jealously making fun of me made me look vulnerable rather than cool.I sat there with the most dumbfounded look on my face.
This girl was quite popular within my year. She had plenty of friends, cute boys always following her around, and in sports. How the hell did she find me cool. Through high school I didn’t have friends, I worked a lot, I read comic books and played video games, I wore clothes that I made or thrifted, and I was a quiet artist who really just kept to herself.
She went on asking me where I shopped and if she could have fashion advice. After talking for a while I told her that it was really nice but odd she was doing this. I even asked her if this was a joke and she merely replied that she wasn’t joking and that she wanted to apologize for all the times she critized me and put me down.
I don’t know I just wanted to share this because I’m still shocked from it.
—I’m trying to avoid all this homework I need to have done by the end of this week and get prepared for midterms week.
I’d rather be sleeping.
—I’m seriously tired of trying to be nice to people and they turn around and basically spit in my face.
I feel like my friends think I’m really weird but deal with me because I don’t have really any friends.
— I start classes tomorrow, and none of them are art classes. They’re all regular academic classes which means Im going to be stuck in large class rooms with complete utter strangers. I need a barf bag.
I really don’t understand why its so difficult to hold a conversation with guys recently. I seriously cannot talk to them, it turns awkward, I don’t know what to say, They don’t know what to say so I end up staring off into space and end up looking like a bitch.